NEW BLOG :)

This is officially my last Blogger post!

If you're still interested in reading what I have to say you should now go to:

http://fifteengoingonsixteen.tumblr.com

DO IT. :)

The Thing About Life.

The thing about life is that, it's not perfect.

But I bet you know that.

It knocks you down, again and again and throws you surprises and curve balls and heartbreaks and happiness over and over again.

And when it does knock you down,

You've got to get back up again.

You've got to be strong and let it go and just keep going.

And when life knocks you down again, you've got to get back up again.

We've got to stop worrying, stop fretting, stop pacing, stop crying, stop all of it.

Just stop.

Relax.

Forget about it.

Move on.

Pick yourself up, and keep going, because you never know what surprise life is going to throw you next.

Since I Started Blogging..

I started blogging over a year ago. I looked forward to my Blogiversary.. and I do remember seeing that I had about 16 days to go and getting all excited.. and then summer came, I got busy.. and forgot.

But anyway, I can't believe it's been A YEAR. It really feels like just yesterday I was trying to figure out what I wanted to name this thing (You should have heard what I came up with haha), how I wanted to decorate it (I think I've changed it 3 times so far). I can remember writing my first blog post, getting all excited, and putting a link on facebook so everyone else could see. :)

To a stranger who happened to stumble across my blog and read all or most of my postings I'm sure it appears that I haven't changed much since I first starting blogging.

But I have.

A lot.

Since then a lot in my life has changed. I have changed. I always told myself that there was nothing wrong with writing about the good things I was experiencing spiritually, or something I was up to, and that I would never make this a personal blog. (I have a diary for that. You never know what could come back and bite you!) So it's difficult to explain the reasons that I have changed.

Since I started blogging, God has done miracles in my life.

Since I started blogging, my faith has blossomed and grown and been beautiful and full and wonderful.

Since I started blogging, I let go of my faith for a time being and lived the way I wanted to live. (By the way, it didn't work out.)

Since I started blogging, I thought I fell in love.

Since I started blogging, I grew up some more. I saw things I'd never seen before.

Since I started blogging, I met people I know I'll be friends with for years and years to come. People who have changed me for the better.

And I can't wait to live another year. I can't wait for all the surprises, the people, the laughs. I can't wait to continue "growing up", changing, and learning about myself and the world around me.

By the way, I've decided to keep this blog and not get a tumblr. For now anyway. :)

Tumblr, Maybe.

Lately I've been hearing great things about this new blogging site called Tumblr. I checked it out.. and it's actually pretty cool.

So I'm thinking about possibly ditching this blog and beginning a new one.

Just thinking though.

Hmmmmmmmmmm...

Summmmmer.

Ahh.. finally. Summer.

Summer means staying up late and sleeping in. It means jumping in cool, refreshing pools, drinking iced tea, going to parties and being with your friends. It means a summer romance, the hot sun on your face and in your hair, friendship bracelets and sleepovers all the time. Summer is one of the best times of the year and it's FINALLY here!

Catherine, McKenna and I decied to take some nice pictures together. (:

Best friend Danielle and I in the last week of school. (:

And it's only the beginning!

I'm Not Perfect.

I'm naturally competitive.

It's just the way I am. Whether I'm playing a sport, or taking a test, or comparing myself to others, I'm constantly wanting to be better. Sometimes it can be a good thing. It helps me strive to be better and better. But- it can also be my downfall.

Sometimes I get too caught up in being the best, and perfect, that I lose myself. I start inwardly insulting myself over and over again, until the point where I'm doing things I shouldn't in order to be the best at whatever I'm doing.

So where does God fit into all of this?

See, that's the thing. He doesn't.

When I get into my "competitive mode", I sort of shove everything else aside. Even God. Especially God. Because I know that when I'm in this really good place with God, I can't do the things I want to do because guilt eats at me constantly.

I know I need to change. And I'm working on it. I have to focus on being happy with the way God made me. My personality, my body, my IQ. I have to be content with it. There's nothing wrong with striving to be better, but when it comes to the point that I'm leaving behind my set of morals, I know it's time to take a step back.

Part of the reason I'm so competitive is because- it's what people expect of me. People expect me to always look great, get good grades, be a "good" person, because that's the reputation I've built for myself. But the thing is, I'm not perfect. I don't always look beautiful, I don't always get an A, and I'm certainly not always the role model person. But no one really is.

I know I need to turn to God, and ask for forgiveness for the things I've been doing.

Choir Banquet (:

It's hard to believe my freshman year in high school is almost over. It seems like just yesterday I was worrying about finding my classes the first day, and getting used to my new teachers, finding a place to sit at lunch, etc. I think each year of our life helps form us into the person we become- and this year changed me a lot.

One of my constants this year was Choir. Some of my very best friends are in Choir, and I know I'm going to continue to grow closer to these people for the next three years of my life. I'm so grateful for all the experiences I've had, all the laughs, all the tears. It's been unforgettable. And now that Choir Banquet is over, I feel like my whole year is too.

Before the banquet. (:
Rojean, Katie, and Cammie! Crazy, amazing girls.

Some of my very best friends, Catherine and McKenna.

Reasons to Pray?

Prayer is so beautiful.

I mean, when you really think about it? Being able to talk to your Creator, the one will loves you no matter what, who will never leave you- anytime you want? That's huge. And it's amazing.

A friend and I were together the other day and started talking about prayer, and all the ways that it's important to us. We talked about how comforting it is to know that when you pray about your friend who's hurting that there's actually someone there listening to You. We talked about how astounding it is that we can talk to Jesus, just like we talk to our best friend. We talked about how undeserving we are, that he actually wants to hear what we have to say. We talked about how loved we feel, when we know that when we are hurting or have a problem- He cares.

But you know what we didn't talk about?

We didn't talk about listening to God.

Which is huge.

How are we supposed to know God's will for our lives, if we don't listen to what He has to say? Think about it. He already knows what's going to happen to us in advance if we choose to do what He asks- or if we choose to do what we want.

And you know what?

God's way is best. Always.

Even if His will for you makes absolutely no sense at all. Maybe at the moment you're confused and hurting and you think that this situation has to be done THIS WAY, or no way at all. Because, that's the only way it's going to work, right?

Wrong.

He knows best. And He actually wants the best for YOU.

So next time you sit down to pray, make sure you set aside some time to listen. Maybe God's got something to say too.

Cute Pictures With My Cute Best Friend.

McKenna and I got together today and had the BEST time. And took some amazing pictures along the way. (: Want to see;)?

Haha this was such a fail! The sun was waaaay too bright. (:

Haha McKenna you are such a spy;)

I'm a treehugger, get it? (;

McKenna found some pretty purple flowers. (:

McKenna, you are the definition of blessing.

Choir Spring Trip!

So last week Choir packed their bags and went to San Antonio! We had A BLASTT. Friday night we hung out at the riverwalk, and Saturday we went to Six Flags! Both times it was raining soo hard.. so McKenna and I said a prayer that the sun would come out- and it did! God can give such awesome blessings in even tiny ways like that.

McKenna, Nathan, and I. (:

Cammie, Vincente, me, and McKenna!
Uhh.. dont ask about the guy behind us. haha

Cammie and Katie:)

McKenna, Catherine, and I at the hotel! Haha.. ohh the faces of people in the background. ;)

At the Riverwalk! We had tonss of fun there. (:

The trip was pretty darn fun. There was so much laughter, and jokes, and roller coasters!! Best weekend I've had in a long time.

THANKFUL THANKFUL THANKFUL!

So today I am feeling really, really thankful.

I am thankful that I know Jesus. That I love Him. That I want to grow in Him, and learn more about Him, and fall in love with Him. I know I don't deserve his grace, or love, or forgiveness, and I am so thankful for all that He does for me. Especially the things I don't even know about!

I am thankful for my friends. I'm not sure if I blogged about this in the summer or not- but all summer I prayed that I would meet wonderful Christian friends in Choir that would uplift me and I would grow close to- and man did God provide! I couldn't ask for better friends. (Ahem.. McKenna, Catherine, etc) :)

I am thankful for my family. My sister and I are best, best friends. (She's a year older than me) We don't just share clothes and jewelry- we share a bond that no one can break. And of course, my parents. I can't ever be thankful enough that I'm growing up in a Christian home where my parents are still in love with each other- 18 years into a marriage. That takes work and dedication and I am so thankful.

I am thankful for the way God made me. I don't want this to sound vain, let me explain. Throughout my short, fifteen year life I have struggled with accepting not just the way God made my personality, but my body, like any other girl. But over time I've slowly become fine with who I am. My body type. Me. Weird as it might sound, some days it's really hard being thankful for who you are. And today, I am.

I am thankful that I have the chance, every day, to witness to everyone around me. I want not only to talk about Jesus and spread the truth, but I pray that people will see Jesus in me just through my actions. I hope that when people see me, they dont really see me, but Jesus!

So, yes, I'm thankful. For the beautiful weather today. For everything about my life. I'm so, so blessed and I cannot thank God enough for giving me everything that He has! I cannot wait to see what's ahead in my life.

I'm Forgiven.

I recently heard this beautiful song on KSBJ, called Forgiven by Sanctus Real. It totally hit home. Sometimes I think I hold on to the bad things that I've done, and I have a hard time forgiving myself, and letting it go. But this song is so beautiful- it reminds me that it's Jesus who paid the price for my sins, that He's forgiven every "big" and "small" sin I've committed- and I know that once and for all-

I'm forgiven.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZVjKrmvYYQ&feature=related

^^ Check it out.

A Little Catch Up and A Message to My Followers!

I love life. I really do. Every day is a gift in of itself. I mean, some days aren't so great, and sometimes I make mistakes. But I get to learn from those mistakes, and I get to keep going. And that is such a blessing.

When I think about how God chose me to be His follower.. I just can't believe it. I mean, I get glimpses of myself as a Christian and it's bad. So I can't imagine how He could see the good in me to choose me to love Him and know Him. I'm not sure if this is making a whole lot of sense.. I am just so happy that I know Jesus as my personal Savior and that I have the privilege of spending the rest of my life growing in faith and spreading what I know.

So, things have been busy.

And guess what!

I'm fifteen. :)

Yep, last Tuesday. Haha, I listened to Fifteen by Taylor Swift on the way to school that morning. :)) It was a pretty "smashing" day. (Haha am I so weird for loving that word?) My friends were so sweet.. they were so nice and gave me some pretty awesome gifts. Like, my good friend Megan (Who just had her sweet sixteen party!) gave me this blowing bubble kit because she knows I love doing that (Haha!) and this big pack of "everlasting" gobstoppers. (My favorite candy). But mostly.. I got lots.. and LOTS of candy and sweets! Haha, I could NOTT eat it all. I had a pretty good day... and I finally got a pair of Sperry's! Haha, I love them.. they have flowers on them. (I've been wanting Sperry's for ages!)

Unfortunately, most of the pictures we took have gone "missing." I sure hope we find them! But here are some we do still have...

You can sort of see my Sperrys to the left. :)

My awesome vanilla-raspberry cake. Haha, we had to throw it away today because it was too old to eat! :(
So it's not the best picture of me, but this another birthday gift! It's going to my dress for Choir Banquet.

So, something I've realized..

When I first started blogging, it was basically just for me. I love to write, and I had just recently gotten into computer, and I thought it would be cool if I kept another (less personal) account of my life. (My diary is the personal version) ;). I had no idea what followers were when I first made this. lol. And, while it's not a huge amount, I have followers! And I guess that makes me happy. :) So, since I do, I figure I'd let you guys out there that have some spare time in your day to read what I write some things about me.

1. Jesus is my everything. I love Him with all of my heart, have accepted him into my life, and can't imagine living a single second without Him!

2. I love cold showers.

3. While some people's favorite color changes constantly, my favorite season changes constantly. Usually whatever season it is, is my favorite. :)

4. My favorite colors are yellow and purple. (But not together) :)

5. I love to take pictures.

6. I used to love sucking on ice.

7. I love watching movies.

8. When I was a little girl, all I wanted was to sing and act. I still love those things, but I don't think that's what I'll end up doing. But who knows;)

9. I love, love, LOVE people. Basically, I love meeting new people and figuring out different personalities, and making friends!

10. I want to be a missionary. :)

11. I love asian people. I know that probably sounds weird, but I do. lol

12. Give me chocolate and I will love you;)

13. While I admit Taylor Lautner is clearlyyy hot, I'm not obsessed with him.

14. I love to smile.

15. The smell of chlorine is AWESOME. I love, love, love it. It's my favorite smell. (Ashley, if you're reading this, when I read that you love chlorine too, I thought that was so awesome!)

16. Music makes me happy.

17. I write letters to my future husband.

18. I embarrass myself a lot. Seriously. It's almost a daily ordeal. lol

19. I love giving oral reports. Last year when I took Speech, it was my favorite class! And in 8th Grade Awards, I actually got an award for best speech maker! Haha, on one of my speech's, I got a 99.. one point off for making too many jokes while talking! :)

20. I love playing sports.

21. I'm not afraid to get my hair messed up;)

22. I love dresses.

23. I usually always have my nails painted. (But I've never had them "done")

24. I'm 5'0. And I've stopped growing. Pretty short.. and that's okay! :)

25. I get cravings of fruit.

:) Hope to get to know all you followers out there!

Spring Break Reunion!

Well, Spring Break is almost over. :( Only one and a half more days, and I'm back into school! But, the week was pretty amazing! I had tons of fun, and one of the best parts was seeing my best friend, Ifrah! We haven't seen each other since the last day of Jr. High, since we went to different high schools. It. Was. A. Blast!

Ifrah and I! :)

We went iceskating:) And, amazingly, I only fell down three times! She fell down twice. This is tennn times better than the last time I went ice skating... I can't count how many times I found my face covered in ice!

Yeah, we get pretty goofy. :D

Then we went to one of my absolute favorite restaurants!

Ifrah is one of those friends I won't ever forget to thank God for. I'm so, SO grateful that He brought such a wonderful person into my life! And it was really nice seeing her again, after almost a year. :)

Letting Go of Do's and Don'ts

A couple Sundays ago the lesson was all about how some of us Christians get really caught up in the whole "Do's and Don'ts For Christianity." I remember thinking that I was like that, that I tried to hard to do the "christian" things I'm supposed to do, and stay away from the tempting things I find myself wanting to do. What my teacher said next surprised me.

He told us to stop living on that list, to stop focusing on what we should and should not do. He said just to love Jesus. That we should just give every part of ourself over to Him. To pour our heart and soul into a passionate relationship with Him, and let Him guide us through everything we say and do. When we do that, we don't need to be so focused on doing this and doing that because we won't want to do those things, and we will want to serve Him and follow His will when we're, well, in love with Him.

Of course- there are still some things I want to do that are wrong. But I'm human and not perfect, and I'm going to be working on my relationship with my Heavenly Father for the rest of my life.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that with all of you because it has definitely helped me in my day-to-day life, and I hope it helps yours:)

Are You Different?

Different.

Some people choose not to be.

Some people spend all their time dressing like others, talking like others, and acting like others.

And then what?

And then they've lost themself. They've lost that special thing that makes them them.

Then they're unhappy.

Because they're never good enough.

Never like that other person.

But what if...

What if you stopped wearing that because other people wear it?

What if you started wearing what you want to wear?

What if you stopped talking like that because your best friend talks like that?

What if you started talking in a way thats pleasing to Jesus Christ?

What if you stopped doing that because everyone else is doing that?

What if you started doing something else? Something you want to do. Something good.

What if you started being different?

Started being yourself.

Encouragement.

A little bit of kindess can truly make a person's day.

Today was kinda crazy and it was going downhill fast.

But I walked into my 7th period class- and what was waiting for me?

A wonderful letter from one of my best friends who tracked down my class, found out where my seat was, and left it for me before I got there.

And I felt so much better.

So.

I dare you to say something nice to someone tomorrow.

Maybe they're having a bad day and maybe they're not, but either way-

You made someone smile.

:)

My Life List

So many times I think "Wow, I'm definitely going to do that before I die!" And I've always told myself that I'm going to sit down and make a list of all the things I'm going to do. Well... years later... I finally did!

My Life List

1. Go skydiving.

2. Go bungee-jumping.

3. Get married.

4. Have kids.

5. Be a missionary. (Here, anywhere)

6. Write a book that becomes published.

7. Be a singer.

8. Be an actress.

9. Be a teacher in sunday school.

10. Be a girls minister.

11. Start a clothing store.

12. Have my sister be the maid of honor at my wedding and vice versa.

13. Be on the show survivor.

I know this list will change and grow- and that's okay. But right now- these are the things (Er- some of the things) I definitely want to do before I go to Heaven.

Devotions and Freedom Weekend:)

I don't know about you, but sometimes at the end of the day all I want to do is scream to let all that builtup-stress out, and then collapse into bed. That's one of the reasons I do my devotions at night. No matter what's happened, or what I'm afraid is going to happen the next day, I'm overwhelmed with peace and comfort and suddenly I feel okay. Because I know that God is with me, and that's all I need.

Last night I felt extremely overwhelmed. While I do cry sometimes, I don't do it that often, but I really did feel like crying. So I crawled into bed and read my Bible and did my devotions. (I have a Dr. Stanley one- it's the best! Love him!) And I just felt so much better. It was like this blanket of peace had been wrapped around me. Just wanted to share that. :) Next time you're feeling overcome with stress- pray. It really does help.

Well, last weekend was Freedom Weekend! Freedom Weekend is this thing at my church where you get to spend a weekend at a host home with your friends. There's worship, food, fun, and even some help for the homeless going on! It's the bestt!

A few of the girls in my host home. We've got from left to right Torrey, Rachel, me, Sarah, and another Sarah! These girls are hilarious.

Sarah and I became best friends in the 2nd grade. Seven years later and we still are!

The guy in the middle was our speaker- Tim Bach. (If his name sounds familiar- I blogged about him in the summer when he was our speaker for camp) Love this guy!

My hair fell into my face at the last second :( but I thought this picture was so cute! It's of Torrey, Sarah, and I on the last day, wearing our new Freedom Weekend shirts!

Definitely a weekend I won't be forgetting any time soon. :)

It Came! It Came!

YES!

My SUSIE t-shirt finally came in the mail this week! They asked if I would take a picture of me wearing the shirt and holding one of their magazines and send it to them- so here's the picture:

I absolutely love the shirt design! It says: I read Susie mag. (I just realized my hair is covering up the I read)

Anyways, that package totally made my day:).