The Thing About Life.

The thing about life is that, it's not perfect.

But I bet you know that.

It knocks you down, again and again and throws you surprises and curve balls and heartbreaks and happiness over and over again.

And when it does knock you down,

You've got to get back up again.

You've got to be strong and let it go and just keep going.

And when life knocks you down again, you've got to get back up again.

We've got to stop worrying, stop fretting, stop pacing, stop crying, stop all of it.

Just stop.

Relax.

Forget about it.

Move on.

Pick yourself up, and keep going, because you never know what surprise life is going to throw you next.

Since I Started Blogging..

I started blogging over a year ago. I looked forward to my Blogiversary.. and I do remember seeing that I had about 16 days to go and getting all excited.. and then summer came, I got busy.. and forgot.

But anyway, I can't believe it's been A YEAR. It really feels like just yesterday I was trying to figure out what I wanted to name this thing (You should have heard what I came up with haha), how I wanted to decorate it (I think I've changed it 3 times so far). I can remember writing my first blog post, getting all excited, and putting a link on facebook so everyone else could see. :)

To a stranger who happened to stumble across my blog and read all or most of my postings I'm sure it appears that I haven't changed much since I first starting blogging.

But I have.

A lot.

Since then a lot in my life has changed. I have changed. I always told myself that there was nothing wrong with writing about the good things I was experiencing spiritually, or something I was up to, and that I would never make this a personal blog. (I have a diary for that. You never know what could come back and bite you!) So it's difficult to explain the reasons that I have changed.

Since I started blogging, God has done miracles in my life.

Since I started blogging, my faith has blossomed and grown and been beautiful and full and wonderful.

Since I started blogging, I let go of my faith for a time being and lived the way I wanted to live. (By the way, it didn't work out.)

Since I started blogging, I thought I fell in love.

Since I started blogging, I grew up some more. I saw things I'd never seen before.

Since I started blogging, I met people I know I'll be friends with for years and years to come. People who have changed me for the better.

And I can't wait to live another year. I can't wait for all the surprises, the people, the laughs. I can't wait to continue "growing up", changing, and learning about myself and the world around me.

By the way, I've decided to keep this blog and not get a tumblr. For now anyway. :)

Tumblr, Maybe.

Lately I've been hearing great things about this new blogging site called Tumblr. I checked it out.. and it's actually pretty cool.

So I'm thinking about possibly ditching this blog and beginning a new one.

Just thinking though.

Hmmmmmmmmmm...

Summmmmer.

Ahh.. finally. Summer.

Summer means staying up late and sleeping in. It means jumping in cool, refreshing pools, drinking iced tea, going to parties and being with your friends. It means a summer romance, the hot sun on your face and in your hair, friendship bracelets and sleepovers all the time. Summer is one of the best times of the year and it's FINALLY here!

Catherine, McKenna and I decied to take some nice pictures together. (:

Best friend Danielle and I in the last week of school. (:

And it's only the beginning!

I'm Not Perfect.

I'm naturally competitive.

It's just the way I am. Whether I'm playing a sport, or taking a test, or comparing myself to others, I'm constantly wanting to be better. Sometimes it can be a good thing. It helps me strive to be better and better. But- it can also be my downfall.

Sometimes I get too caught up in being the best, and perfect, that I lose myself. I start inwardly insulting myself over and over again, until the point where I'm doing things I shouldn't in order to be the best at whatever I'm doing.

So where does God fit into all of this?

See, that's the thing. He doesn't.

When I get into my "competitive mode", I sort of shove everything else aside. Even God. Especially God. Because I know that when I'm in this really good place with God, I can't do the things I want to do because guilt eats at me constantly.

I know I need to change. And I'm working on it. I have to focus on being happy with the way God made me. My personality, my body, my IQ. I have to be content with it. There's nothing wrong with striving to be better, but when it comes to the point that I'm leaving behind my set of morals, I know it's time to take a step back.

Part of the reason I'm so competitive is because- it's what people expect of me. People expect me to always look great, get good grades, be a "good" person, because that's the reputation I've built for myself. But the thing is, I'm not perfect. I don't always look beautiful, I don't always get an A, and I'm certainly not always the role model person. But no one really is.

I know I need to turn to God, and ask for forgiveness for the things I've been doing.